Creative descriptions 101

So - having spent all that time last month editing for relevancy on Etsy they've now thrown another spanner in the works. Tara Gentile wrote a guest blog for Etsy which has got me thinking along new tracks - and begging for help!

I had previously thought my pictures dealt with the cute, while my words described the practical issues that a picture can't explain - how big it is, what it's made of, the fact that I wire my meerkats so they're not suitable for children.

Tara said sellers and buyers look at descriptions from different perspectives, and that a buyer wants to know how buying my product will enhance their life.

That's a pretty big ask...but I passed it on to my facebook friends. I'd already seen many Etsy descriptions describing critters who are "up for adoption" or "seeking good homes" and frankly that sort of thing really isn't me.

I challenged Chris, from Pickled Jamjars Creative Writing to write a new description for poor Alice in Wonderland Meerkat. She's been renewed several times but hasn't found a home *sobs glitter tears*



Here's what I'd originally written:

"I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I a handknitted Meerkat when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?'

Designed & knit in the clean, fresh, country air in Kent, the Garden of England (no cigarette, perfume or pet odors) Alice has been transformed into a Niftyknits original meerkat. She's around 7" tall (18cm) and wears a beautiful blue dress with full lacy petticoat. On her head she wears (of course) an Alice band.

Her outfit is complete with stripy stockings and bright red shoes.

None of Alice's clothes are removable. Like all Niftyknits meerkats she is made to my own pattern. Her back legs and tail have been wired to allow her to stand freely in the typical "tripod" stance.

***READY TO SHIP***

She is not suitable for small children due to small parts.

More meerkats ;

Meerkat greeting cards ;

Niftyknits Meerkats are wrapped in tissue paper and come with a signed and dated Certificate of Authenticity and a special edition Niftyknits fridge magnet.

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So - that was me. Not very interesting, practical and very repetitive if you've read several listings. This is what Chris suggested:

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Oh, well hello I'm Alice, isn't my hair divine? I simply MUST tell you about this adventure I just had... You will believe me? Won't you? It simply wasn't a dream, I'm quite sure!

I saw this rabbit you see... Oh? It was white, with a watch! And absolutely had to had to follow him. And I fell. Oh how far and fast. Down and down. Where? A rabbit hole of course! Didn't I say?

And I found my self in a wonderful land... Called Wonderland! And there was a dodo, and twins, and spectacle birds, and a caterpillar, and a mad hatter, and I got big, and then small, and then big, and oh, oh, oh.... What did you say? I'm speaking too fast?

Well there is simply one solution! I will just have to come home and tell you!

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Well just look at me! My hair, my little blue dress, and my collars, and petticoats, and tights and shoes, oh my shoes are to die for! Oh I'm doing it again! Aren't I? I'll show you when I arrive, please do have some tea on for me! Assam, milk, two sugar lumps! Oh and I adore shortbread if you have any? See you in a week or two!

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and then my original "practical stuff" to finish. What do you think? Funnily enough Alice expired yesterday (no, not the actual Alice, the listing) so I'm about to edit her. Of course if she now sells I'll owe Chris commission ;-)

Here's Alice (edited to add she already had 2113 views, 39 admirers and has been in 9 Treasury lists (from before I made the changes), it'll be interesting to see what difference the changes make)